New Direction

I view a new month as a mini-new beginning. I like to look back on the past month, do a small pros-cons list, and set new goals.August had many pros and cons. And I did some major mental processing....let me think outloud for a moment:

Eating:

Here's a shocker, right? Last month was held hostage by the lure of restaurants screaming my name. I make menu's at the beginning of every week. If you walked into my kitchen and looked at last month's menus....you won't see much more than a huge list of restaurants. Yikes. I vowed that this month would be different. Granted, we had fun, shared new tastes with friends, and surprisingly I only gained +0.4 pounds through it all. I watched my portions, took home doggy bags, and ordered wisely. But, it would have been nice to put some home-cooked meals on the table.

Dieting:

I will admit to anyone that asks me- I went on one crazy diet to lose 30 pounds. It was worth it...and I learned alot about myself along the way. But it took all the energy I had, and willpower, to do it. I'm 20 pounds away from being at what I consider "an ideal weight for me". I'm not going to lie, I got myself all psyched up to do crazy diet again to lose the last 20 pounds...started on Monday...and I quit last night. I have been sooooo focused on the numbers on the scale that I have overlooked my current happiness. Food Eating has been SUCH a struggle and idol the last 4 years of my life. So many times, I tried to justify what I was doing by saying, "Oh, I just really love food". Totally not the case. I loved to EAT. Period. It was never about the food. What I was eating could barely even be classified as food. Processed crap from boxes, chips, candy bars, ice cream, fast food.....chemicals, sugar, and more sugar. Not food. I wasn't nourishing my body. I wasn't giving my body fuel. I wasn't even truly enjoying what I was putting in my mouth.

(You are probably wondering where all this is coming from and where I am going.....hold on.... I am about to answer all of that.)

My blog: 

I am bored with my blog. Posting a big number and talking about my weight loss is boring. You are bored. I am bored. I'm going to fix that. 

How: 

Well, I am going to change my focus. I stumbled upon a blog that I thoroughly enjoy these days. She is a foodie, a gym rat, and a wife. We are the same age....struggle(d) with our weight....and have started a new life. As much as I want to steal everything that she does on her blog, I will not do that. Instead, I will use her as a role model and stick to my own ideas. 

What's up  my sleeve: 

I want to make this blog a true journey. A tool for me to educate myself (and you), a journal of my ups and downs, a portal to keep me cooking instead of frequenting restaurants, and a vessel of happiness. (that was kinda corny, but I'm not backspacing). From now on, I will share with you what I am cooking, what I am reading, what I am learning about myself, what I am enjoying, and how I am leading a healthier, diet-free*, happy life.

(*diet-free = no more obsessing about food, freaking out about the scale, restricting foods, or reading diet books. Yes, I still want to lose the last 20 pounds...but I'm going to do it the fun way) 

What I need from you: 

Hold on- I still need your help. I need you to keep me accountable...to stick to my guns....to stay on track. I am very flighty. Comments are like, um, breath to whistle. (?)  The more I get, the stronger my posts will be. If that makes sense. (i totally just chuckled to myself) 

Okay people. I have to go start researching my menu for next week. We have company this weekend...so I will officially begin this new, fresh adventure on Monday, September 13th. (i just got really excited!) 

This will be fun. really fun.