Confessions.

Last night on the way to church my mind was traveling in a million different directions. Maybe not a true million, but too many to count. 

To-Do lists. 

Homework. 

Running. 

Chores. 

Birthdays. 

Menu. 

Budget. 

Schedules. 

Emotions. 

And then, it hit me. And it hit me hard.

I am not giving 100% in any area of my life.

Not one area.

It was probably the most gut-wrenching-honest thing I have told myself in a really long time. I can't talk myself out of it, I can't sugarcoat it, I can't justify it away. It is true. 

Truth: 

• I am ridiculously behind on my reading for my classes. I failed a test last week. So what percentage would I say I am giving school right now? Maybe 55% 

• I haven't cracked open my bible to read it (outside of church) in a good solid 2 months. So what precentage would I say I am giving to God right now? If I count tithing, 10%, but outside of that...5%. 

• Matt and I have a half marathon coming up on October 2nd, 13 days away. So what percentage would I say I am giving to training right now? 30%...on a good week. 

• This blog...I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks. So what percentage would I say I am giving to this blog right now? 25%. I still take the pictures, and write pretend blog posts in my head everyday.  

• Two part time jobs that only add up to about 12-16 hours a week. So what would I say I am giving while on shift right? 80%. Probably the highest percentage across the board of all combined things in my life right now....but I could and should be doing so much higher since I get a paycheck out of it. 

• I have been stuck at 162-164lbs since March. So what would I say I am giving towards weight loss goals right now? 13%. It could probably be higher, but I am judging myself hard in the category because I am not drinking enough water each day, eating breakfast consistently, and I still let myself skip a meal too many times a week. Somebody slap me.

I could go on, and on, and on about all the other areas of my life that suck right now, but I don't want to. I've admitted I have a problem. That's step one, right? Yes. Now I have to figure out what my problem is and how to resolve this annoying new habit of mediocre bullshit.

1) Get in a routine and stick to it. If I miss a step, so what- keep going. Don't blow a whole day off just cause you overslept by 10 minutes. 

2) Prioritize. 

3) Get accountability. 

4) Take one day a week to do nothing of importance and relax. One day. Not six days. {big.fat.lazy.bum.}

5) Stop negative talk. 

Do you have any suggestions? Have you ever realized you are not giving your all?